Definition: A summary of the two universal human drives that, when in conflict with each other, force us to develop survival strategies – at the cost of our connections or our autonomy.
Explanation: As small children, we deferred to the authority of grown-ups, causing us to stop listening to and believing our intuition. Conversely, if we are self-centered, it gets in the way of our ability to create heart-based attachments with others.
Example: A people pleaser has childlike views of what happens when they disappoint another.
How to Use This Tool: Use it to uncover areas where you are still acting out of childhood habits. Devise small experiments to test your childlike hypotheses.
