Definition: Differentiation is the ability to stay grounded in your values and sense of self while remaining connected to others – especially in tension.
Explanation: It’s not detachment or domination. Differentiated people self-regulate, speak their truth, and allow others to do the same without emotional fusion or avoidance.
Example: A leader appreciates the differences between themselves and others, they resist the urge to disconnect to isolate and invite positive connection.
How to Use This Tool: Use in coaching or conflict resolution. Ask: “Where do we agree?” Practice noticing your judgements of others, and, setting them aside in exchange for connection.
